Journeys of a Catholic Poster Girl

Happy All Saints’ Day, friends. Don’t you love this feast?
I do–as a kid I always thought it was weird to be juxtaposed with halloween (sacred and profane, and all that), but as I grew older and realized how important the saints are to us, and how close they are, I’ve really grown to love this feast.

Here are the three saints I’m celebrating this year:

St. Therese of the Child Jesus, as always. She was the saint I chose at my confirmation, and the more I learn about here, the more I fall in love with her. She’s the most popular saint of modern times for a reason. If you’re looking for a good book on her, I recommend this one.  And there’s the movie!

St. Francis is the saint I have been studying this year. I got the idea from “Around the Year With the Von Trapp Family” to pick a saint every first Sunday of Advent that you will study during the year. I chose St. Francis since, at that time, I was applying to Franciscan University and wanted to learn more about St. Francis and the order he founded. This book is a good introduction, and this movie (also featuring St. Clare) is fantastic. (Also, in my family, my grandfather’s name is Francis, and it is my brother’s middle name.)

And finally, St. Dominic, whom, as we know from here, I have been studying. Right now I don’t have any books or movies to recomment, except–say the rosary! This great gift was given by Mary to St. Dominic, and is such a powerful prayer.

In addition to these, there is also St. Emily and St. Michael the Archangel, who are my name saints (Michele is my mom’s name, and my middle name.)

What about you? Who are your special saints?

Talking about new religious avenues for myself over here.

Wheen we have first year priests like these, I feel good! (link takes you to a video)

Full disclosure: we were high-school classmates, so OK, maybe I’m biased…

Today I went to noon Mass at St. Joseph’s downtown. I made a promise to myself to go more often, so…no day like today, right?

Usually I like to get there early so I can say my rosary (or most of it) in front of the tabernacle, in the Eucharistic chapel. There’s just something about praying my rosary there, in front of Jesus in the tabernacle, that makes it that much more special for me, and I feel so much closer to Our Lord. So this is an important time for me. I tend to work out big problems while doing this, too.

So I was praying, per usual, when I saw a nun and a little girl. I couldn’t tell what order the nun was with–I didn’t recognize her habit (grey head scarf/pieces, whatever it’s called now, a sort of lighter-gray, dark white dress, rope around the waist, wooden rosary also at waist). The nun, who looked about my age, was pointing things out to the little girl, and, when they reached the chapel, the nun showed her how to genuflect and make the Sign of the Cross. I’m guessing the girl was about three or four.

The sister and the child attended the Mass (today’s the feast day of St. Bartholemew, BTW), and I sat in front of her. During the peace we shook hands. She had the most radiant, calm, peaceful face. And she was very friendly and obviously patient, to take the little girl around like that.

Seeing a nun–in habit!–worshipping and teaching like that was a good insertion to my day. It also helped me stick to my resolve to be more prayerful, more in tune with God.

Everyone has crises of faith, doubts about their lives, their vocations, what God wants from them.

Yesterday was one of those days for me. I had gone to my faith sharing group and we had discussed things like submitting to the will of God, rejoicing in His plan for us, etc. And I kept thinking, “Well what if you desire something–something good, and holy–and you STILL don’t get it? What are you supposed to do then?”

I’ve wanted to be a wife and mother as long as I can remember. I think one of my professors in college had a heart attack when I told her that that’s what I wanted and I wouldn’t be going to law/grad school. It’s what most of the women in my life have done–my aunts, my friends’ mothers, etc. I want that kind of life.

But I also want to be a sister. I feel the calling, the attractiveness of that life. And of course the retreat next month will help me discern more clearly what I feel about this.

But what if I don’t get either? What if the convent doesn’t want me (or doesn’t think I fit) and I never get married? Why do I have these desires in me if they can’t be fulfilled?
So I was a little distraught about all this.

Today, I saw at least three different roses on three different occasions. Yup, I guess God is listening to me–a little.

From Magnificat (with some of my own additions):

Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton was born on August 28, 1774, in New york City, to a wealth and distinguished Episcopalian family. She was baptized in the Episcopal faith and was a faithful adherent to the Episcopal Church of England. Her mother died when she was a child and her father was a physician. In 1794, Elizabeth married businessman William Seton, and they raised five children in New York City. Her husband suffered a catastrophic business failure which forced the family to sell their home and depend on the kindness of relatives. William contracted tuberculosis and Elizabeth and Anna, one of their daughters, accompanied him to Leghorn, Italy, where he sought a cure. Sadly, he died there, and Elizabeth and Anna went to live for a time with the Felicci family, wealthy Italians who were friends of William’s. Impressed by their deep faith, Elizabeth decided to convert to Catholicsm upon her return to America. She made her professsion of faith in 1805, much to the displeasure of her family. At the behest of Bishop John Carroll, Elizabeth established the her Catholic school in Balitmore in 1808, which was open to all students regardless of their family’s ability in pay. In 1809 she founded the Daughters of Charity in Emmitsburg, Maryland. Her two boys were educated at Mount St. Mary’s and joined the American navy. Elizabeth lost two of her daughters, Anna and Rebecca, to tuberculosis. Her daughter Katherine survived. Her community spread to New York state, and as far as St. Louis, before she died on January 4, 1821. She was declared a Saint (the first American-born) by Pope Paul VI on September 14, 1975.

From St. Elizabeth’s writings:

O Father, the first rule of our dear Saviour’s life was to do your will. Let his will of the present moment be the first rule of our daily life and work, with no other desire but for its most full and complete accomplishment. Help us to follow it faithfully, so that doing what you wish we will be pleasing to you.

Lord Jesus, who was born for us in a stable, lived for us a life of pain and sorrow and died for us upon the cross; say for us in the hour of death, “Father, forgive,” and to your Mother, “behold your child.” Say to us, “This day you shall be with me in paradise.” Dear Saviour, leave us not, forsake us not. We thirst for you, Fountain of Living Water. Our days pass quickly along; soon all will be consummated for us. To your hands, we commend our spirits, not and forever. Amen.

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton is one of my favorite saints. I’ve seen the movie A Time for Miracles many times, and it helps butress my own feeling of vocation. In my ideal life, I would like to be her–married to a man she loved, children, a nun, a foundress, a teacher, etc. Her life was hard, I know. But still, she encompassed every part of a woman’s life in a truly unique way.

In grade school my parents took us to Emmitsburg to see St. Elizabeth’s home and school. You can still see the original school house she and the sisters used. St. Elizabeth is buried on the property, along with her children. It is a beautiful and peaceful place.

Some links:

On her life

Seton shrine in NYC (lower Manhattan)

The Emmitsburg Shrine (National shrine)

Today I got my registration email from the SMME in Ann Arbor for the vocations retreat in February! I am so excited!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Today we have the RCIA folks at Mass for the first time–I think today was the rite of Acceptance? I could be wrong (we know how my hearing can be in church)…but I have never seen it performed before. Personally, I really enjoyed it.

There is one catechumen that really touched me. She’s an older woman, probably in her late 50s, who was on supplemental oxygen. My first thought: there but by the grace of God…

But it was so touching to see her and her sponsor. Both of them were very emotional, and her sponsor kept hugging her and touching her reassuringly. It was really nice to see that sort of connection between two people. You could tell that this woman really wanted to be received into the Church.

Parish Council meeting tomorrow, along with our parish’s annual Advent Evening of Reflection. Next week–penance service. Gotta tell you, not my favorite thing–but I will go. Especially during this discernment process, I need to go more frequently than my current once-every-few-months habit.

Speaking of discerment–still praying, still asking God to show me His will. Plans seem good for the February retreat in Ann Arbor with the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist.

I keep running into Dominicans. I don’t think this is a coincidence.

These are the two communities I am discerning/talking with:

 Nashville Dominicans of St. Cecilia

Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist (SMME for short)

Please, all of you in blogger land:

please pray for me and for the order I am contacting, that they will be open to the idea of giving me a chance to try my vocation with them, even with my crazy health history!

I have never felt so strongly drawn to anything as I have to this order.

Jesus and Mary, pray for me!