Journeys of a Catholic Poster Girl

“Our faith needs to be the North Star of our lives. Our behavior needs to match our words.” –Archbishop Charles Chaput

“Hey, we’re up here!”

Filed under: Catholicism-general, discernment, family, personal essay, prayer, saints, vocation — catholicpostergirl at 10:01 pm on Monday, January 21, 2008

Everyone has crises of faith, doubts about their lives, their vocations, what God wants from them.

Yesterday was one of those days for me. I had gone to my faith sharing group and we had discussed things like submitting to the will of God, rejoicing in His plan for us, etc. And I kept thinking, “Well what if you desire something–something good, and holy–and you STILL don’t get it? What are you supposed to do then?”

I’ve wanted to be a wife and mother as long as I can remember. I think one of my professors in college had a heart attack when I told her that that’s what I wanted and I wouldn’t be going to law/grad school. It’s what most of the women in my life have done–my aunts, my friends’ mothers, etc. I want that kind of life.

But I also want to be a sister. I feel the calling, the attractiveness of that life. And of course the retreat next month will help me discern more clearly what I feel about this.

But what if I don’t get either? What if the convent doesn’t want me (or doesn’t think I fit) and I never get married? Why do I have these desires in me if they can’t be fulfilled?
So I was a little distraught about all this.

Today, I saw at least three different roses on three different occasions. Yup, I guess God is listening to me–a little. :)

January 4–St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

From Magnificat (with some of my own additions):

Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton was born on August 28, 1774, in New york City, to a wealth and distinguished Episcopalian family. She was baptized in the Episcopal faith and was a faithful adherent to the Episcopal Church of England. Her mother died when she was a child and her father was a physician. In 1794, Elizabeth married businessman William Seton, and they raised five children in New York City. Her husband suffered a catastrophic business failure which forced the family to sell their home and depend on the kindness of relatives. William contracted tuberculosis and Elizabeth and Anna, one of their daughters, accompanied him to Leghorn, Italy, where he sought a cure. Sadly, he died there, and Elizabeth and Anna went to live for a time with the Felicci family, wealthy Italians who were friends of William’s. Impressed by their deep faith, Elizabeth decided to convert to Catholicsm upon her return to America. She made her professsion of faith in 1805, much to the displeasure of her family. At the behest of Bishop John Carroll, Elizabeth established the her Catholic school in Balitmore in 1808, which was open to all students regardless of their family’s ability in pay. In 1809 she founded the Daughters of Charity in Emmitsburg, Maryland. Her two boys were educated at Mount St. Mary’s and joined the American navy. Elizabeth lost two of her daughters, Anna and Rebecca, to tuberculosis. Her daughter Katherine survived. Her community spread to New York state, and as far as St. Louis, before she died on January 4, 1821. She was declared a Saint (the first American-born) by Pope Paul VI on September 14, 1975.

From St. Elizabeth’s writings:

O Father, the first rule of our dear Saviour’s life was to do your will. Let his will of the present moment be the first rule of our daily life and work, with no other desire but for its most full and complete accomplishment. Help us to follow it faithfully, so that doing what you wish we will be pleasing to you.

Lord Jesus, who was born for us in a stable, lived for us a life of pain and sorrow and died for us upon the cross; say for us in the hour of death, “Father, forgive,” and to your Mother, “behold your child.” Say to us, “This day you shall be with me in paradise.” Dear Saviour, leave us not, forsake us not. We thirst for you, Fountain of Living Water. Our days pass quickly along; soon all will be consummated for us. To your hands, we commend our spirits, not and forever. Amen.

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton is one of my favorite saints. I’ve seen the movie A Time for Miracles many times, and it helps butress my own feeling of vocation. In my ideal life, I would like to be her–married to a man she loved, children, a nun, a foundress, a teacher, etc. Her life was hard, I know. But still, she encompassed every part of a woman’s life in a truly unique way.

In grade school my parents took us to Emmitsburg to see St. Elizabeth’s home and school. You can still see the original school house she and the sisters used. St. Elizabeth is buried on the property, along with her children. It is a beautiful and peaceful place.

Some links:

On her life

Seton shrine in NYC (lower Manhattan)

The Emmitsburg Shrine (National shrine)

Retreat!

Filed under: religious orders, vocation — catholicpostergirl at 12:02 pm on Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Today I got my registration email from the SMME in Ann Arbor for the vocations retreat in February! I am so excited!

First Sunday of Advent

Filed under: Advent, my parish, personal, prayer, sacraments, vocation — catholicpostergirl at 9:29 pm on Sunday, December 2, 2007

Happy New Year, everyone!

Today we have the RCIA folks at Mass for the first time–I think today was the rite of Acceptance? I could be wrong (we know how my hearing can be in church)…but I have never seen it performed before. Personally, I really enjoyed it.

There is one catechumen that really touched me. She’s an older woman, probably in her late 50s, who was on supplemental oxygen. My first thought: there but by the grace of God…

But it was so touching to see her and her sponsor. Both of them were very emotional, and her sponsor kept hugging her and touching her reassuringly. It was really nice to see that sort of connection between two people. You could tell that this woman really wanted to be received into the Church.

Parish Council meeting tomorrow, along with our parish’s annual Advent Evening of Reflection. Next week–penance service. Gotta tell you, not my favorite thing–but I will go. Especially during this discernment process, I need to go more frequently than my current once-every-few-months habit.

Speaking of discerment–still praying, still asking God to show me His will. Plans seem good for the February retreat in Ann Arbor with the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist.

I keep running into Dominicans. I don’t think this is a coincidence. :)

More info.

Filed under: links, personal, religious orders, vocation — catholicpostergirl at 4:36 pm on Wednesday, November 28, 2007

These are the two communities I am discerning/talking with:

 Nashville Dominicans of St. Cecilia

Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist (SMME for short)

please pray!

Filed under: discernment, personal, prayer, religious orders, vocation — catholicpostergirl at 5:18 pm on Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Please, all of you in blogger land:

please pray for me and for the order I am contacting, that they will be open to the idea of giving me a chance to try my vocation with them, even with my crazy health history!

I have never felt so strongly drawn to anything as I have to this order.

Jesus and Mary, pray for me!

Taking the first step

Filed under: discernment, personal, vocation — catholicpostergirl at 4:10 pm on Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I just called a convent and left a message inquiring about a vocation retreat.

To paraphrase, “God must be crazy.”

 
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