Journeys of a Catholic Poster Girl

Happy All Saints’ Day, friends. Don’t you love this feast?
I do–as a kid I always thought it was weird to be juxtaposed with halloween (sacred and profane, and all that), but as I grew older and realized how important the saints are to us, and how close they are, I’ve really grown to love this feast.

Here are the three saints I’m celebrating this year:

St. Therese of the Child Jesus, as always. She was the saint I chose at my confirmation, and the more I learn about here, the more I fall in love with her. She’s the most popular saint of modern times for a reason. If you’re looking for a good book on her, I recommend this one.  And there’s the movie!

St. Francis is the saint I have been studying this year. I got the idea from “Around the Year With the Von Trapp Family” to pick a saint every first Sunday of Advent that you will study during the year. I chose St. Francis since, at that time, I was applying to Franciscan University and wanted to learn more about St. Francis and the order he founded. This book is a good introduction, and this movie (also featuring St. Clare) is fantastic. (Also, in my family, my grandfather’s name is Francis, and it is my brother’s middle name.)

And finally, St. Dominic, whom, as we know from here, I have been studying. Right now I don’t have any books or movies to recomment, except–say the rosary! This great gift was given by Mary to St. Dominic, and is such a powerful prayer.

In addition to these, there is also St. Emily and St. Michael the Archangel, who are my name saints (Michele is my mom’s name, and my middle name.)

What about you? Who are your special saints?

Talking about new religious avenues for myself over here.

Today is the feast day of St. Therese of Lisieux.

She’s one of the most popular saints of modern times, and I chose her as my confirmation saint back in ‘96. She has been a constant source of inspiration and comfort for me since then.

Check out the “saints” archives for more on her, including books and movies.

Today I went to noon Mass at St. Joseph’s downtown. I made a promise to myself to go more often, so…no day like today, right?

Usually I like to get there early so I can say my rosary (or most of it) in front of the tabernacle, in the Eucharistic chapel. There’s just something about praying my rosary there, in front of Jesus in the tabernacle, that makes it that much more special for me, and I feel so much closer to Our Lord. So this is an important time for me. I tend to work out big problems while doing this, too.

So I was praying, per usual, when I saw a nun and a little girl. I couldn’t tell what order the nun was with–I didn’t recognize her habit (grey head scarf/pieces, whatever it’s called now, a sort of lighter-gray, dark white dress, rope around the waist, wooden rosary also at waist). The nun, who looked about my age, was pointing things out to the little girl, and, when they reached the chapel, the nun showed her how to genuflect and make the Sign of the Cross. I’m guessing the girl was about three or four.

The sister and the child attended the Mass (today’s the feast day of St. Bartholemew, BTW), and I sat in front of her. During the peace we shook hands. She had the most radiant, calm, peaceful face. And she was very friendly and obviously patient, to take the little girl around like that.

Seeing a nun–in habit!–worshipping and teaching like that was a good insertion to my day. It also helped me stick to my resolve to be more prayerful, more in tune with God.

Surrender is hard.

OK , we knew that. If anything about Christianity was easy, then a lot more people would be good Christians–myself included.

Today at Mass we heard the end of John Chapter 6, which we’ve been reading all month, also known as the “Bread of Life” discourse, where Jesus gives us great Eucharistic theology–”My flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink”.

John tells us that many of the disciples stopped following Jesus after this–the saying was “too hard”. But when Jesus spoke to the twelve–”Do you also wish to go away?” Peter said, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of everlasting life.”

Peter is an interesting apostle. He can be brilliant–here, and when he says that Jesus is “The Christ, the son of God”, in Matthew, –and he can also be breathtakingly stupid–telling Jesus not to go to Jerusalem, “thinking as men think”–or just way out of it–wanting to build the booths for Moses, Jesus and Elijah on Tabor.

But the thing I like about Peter is that he falls, and then gets back up and does it all again. He denies Jesus three times, but then goes on to be Pope, and to be crucified. Peter is entirely, wonderfully human.

When I think about surrender, I think about what Peter said in today’s gospel. Where else can we go? If you are Christian, you believe that Jesus is “The way, the truth, and the life.” That’s it. No other way. Only Jesus can take us to the Father. So we follow him, because he has the words that Peter was talking about–the ones of life.

But to really follow him, we have to give everything, and follow him. Sell it all, leave family and friends, and, most importantly, leave behind self.

But we like ourselves, don’t we? For the most part, anyway. There are things I don’t like about myself, but for the most part, I like how God made me. And if God made me this way, then why do I have to give it up, to follow him?

Again, we get Peter and Jesus:

[Jesus] said to [Peter] the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” (Jesus) said to him, “Feed my sheep.  Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” (Jn. 21:17-18, NAB)

Where you do not want to go.

That’s the thing. It’s not that we mind “dying” to self, if that means giving up those irritating habits, and becoming a “nicer” Person, someone who “does what Jesus would do.”

But dying to self means just that–dying to it. In Peter’s case, he would be led to a cross, just like Jesus.

And I think we know what surrender means. And we don’t want to go.

It’s hard to surrender. I haven’t done it. I might think I’ve done it, but then someone reminds me that everything comes in God’s time, and God is in control, and then I sit there going, “yup. I’m dumb.”

He knows everything. And I know just about nothing. But I always think I know better. Just like Peter.

From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer greatly from the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed and on the third day be raised.

Then Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, “God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you.”

He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.”

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.

For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? Or what can one give in exchange for his life?

For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father’s glory, and then he will repay everyone according to his conduct.

A reflection on Truth (h/t Praying for Grace)

1. My Lent has been pretty…uneventful. With the show it’s hard to fit in time for everything. I’m wondering if I can do like some super-charged Lent after the show closes this weekend? I could go to Stations of the Cross this Wednesday, so I think I may do that.
2. For awhile I’ve been feeling a lot of aridity–no desire to pray, no real desire to “be holy”. Not that I’ve become a bad person or anything, but the things of the Spiritual Realm seem to be reduced to sporadic Bible Reading and nighttime prayers. Need to work on this.
3. I really do LIKE Lent. This year just seems–off. But then again, there is a great story about St. Teresa of Avila, who had many great plans for a certain Lent. But she was bedridden for the entire season. I suppose God knows how we can best serve Him, and will use any means to get our attention!
4. Catholic news: This, in Connecticut, is really appalling. S0rry, but lay people don’t get to have this much say in a diocese. Deal with it. And I believe something called the First Amendment makes this totally unconstitutional.
5. Good Lenten reading (when I actually do it): Lent and Easter with JPII and Death on a Friday Afternoon, by Richard John Neuhaus.
6. I did buy, as part of the St. Francis Project, the prayer book “Praying with St. Francis.” I do like it alot and am thinking about using it for evening prayer, instead of my Magnificat. It has morning and evening prayer, plus short articles on St. Francis, prayer in his time, and the role of prayer books. It’s published by Paraclete Press.

Info courtesy of Fr. Z. 

So, this year my patron saint is St. Francis of Assisi. I chose him for a few reasons: one, he’s a saint everyone “knows”, but I thought I didn’t really know much about him, other than the rebuilding of the churches, loving animals, and stuff like that. So I thought I needed to know a bit more about him. 

Second, I am applying to Franciscan University of Steubenville to do my MA work. So I thought it wouldn’t hurt to know more about the order’s founder, no? 

I have begun, thus, to read about St. Francis. I will probably create a Google doc, like I have with my Jane project (over on the Bucket), to amass all the info. But right now I’m just reading. 

The first book I read wasn’t precisely about St. Francis, per se. It was My Life With the Saints, by James Martin, S.J.  As the title would indicate, Fr. Martin writes about the different saints that have had an impact on his life, including St. Jude, St. Peter, St. Therese, St. Bernadette, and St. Francis. 

While this wasn’t a biography, more of a personal reflection, I still learned more than I had before–about St. Francis’ family, how his father changed his name to Francis as an homage to France, the founding of the Franciscan order, and St. Francis’ love of song. Martin writes in an engaging style that makes this a fun book to read. 

The second book was a Christmas gift from my friend Richelle– St. Francis of Assisi, by G.K. Chesterton. (The link doesn’t take you to a precise copy, but it’s as good–if not better). Chesterton, with his characteristic wit and insight, gives “an introduction” to St. Francis (which is what he calls it), touching on his life, the historical period, and some good anecdotes. He says several times that his book is for beginners, or those just learning about the saint, which made it perfect for starting my project. 

While 2009 doesn’t start for another month, in the Church 2009 has begun today! The first Sunday of Advent marks the beginning of the new Church Year. 

Last year I found a copy of the out-of-print Around the Year With the Von Trapp Family (yes, that Von Trapp family) on the internet (link on sidebar). Besides being wonderfully written, it also gives meticulous detail about how the large family celebrated every season of the Church year. I printed off the pages and placed them in a binder (sort of comprising a ‘book’), and have followed it since then. 

This is the first Advent I have with it, and one of the ideas is choosing a patron saint for the year. This year, I have chosen St. Francis, partially because there are several “Francis”es in my family, and also because I hope to be studying at Franciscan University in 2009, so I figure I better know some more about him and his order, other than he was kidnapped by pirates, rebuilt churches with his money, liked animals and founded the Franciscan order. 

So this year I will be praying/reading/studying St. Francis. If you know any good books or internet links about him, please leave them in the combox!

Another thing: Advent reading. I use the Magnificat Advent book, and Advent and Christmas with Pope John Paul II. (There’s a whole series of these–Padre Pio, G.K. Chesterton, etc., etc.) What books do you like to use?