Apr 28 2010
Retreat Journal #3
Third in a series
Saturday morning/afternoon
So, I had pulled my various paraphernalia from my room and was in the grotto. The first thing I did was write the names of the people I was praying for during the retreat to the shrine. I wrote them on a piece of paper and then tucked it in with the other prayer requests and prayer candles. Two big, beautiful vases of red and white roses were already on Mary’s altar, along with some photographs.
I sat on the stone bench and thought. I didn’t know quite what to do with myself. On retreat my general rule is to let the spirit blow me where he will. A page in Be Holy had quoted the book of Job, so I began to read that. I read a few chapters, then felt like I should say the stations of the cross.
St. Therese abounds in stations of the cross. There are two outdoor sets, and two indoor sets (one in the chapel and one in the hallway leading to the chapel). Since it was a bit brighter–and still not raining–I chose to say one of the outdoor sets, which was only a few steps away from the grotto. I took my journal, a pen, and the Pieta prayer book, which had a short stations of the cross inside, and set out for the first station.
I’ve prayed the stations of the cross since I was in first grade, and my class went every Friday during Lent. My old parish offered it every Wednesday during Lent, and St. Pat’s offers it every Friday (conveniently post-Fish Fry). The stations made for countless art class projects when I was in school. I’ve said quick stations, and I’ve said long stations. At our retreat in 2007, there was a communal Stations offered in the chapel, before we said the Divine Mercy chapelet. Stations of the Cross, I thought, were a good way to start ‘my’ part of the retreat.
After the 8th station there’s a small stone bench that sits near three statues: two angels, and the Blessed Virgin. They’re old and weathered, with a few missing fingers, but wrapped around one of Mary’s hands is a ruby red rosary.
In my journal, I wrote:
Such love is shown us, such devotion! God so loved the world that he gave His only son for us. To save us. For me. That love is so deep. How can I question its depth and richness–its purity?
All the joys and beauties of this world are but a taste of the life to come. A taste! The best things on earth will be infinetly better in Heaven. It is beyond intellect.
I remembered something else from Be Holy–the pearl of great price, the treasure in the field, that Jesus compares Heaven to:
The treasure in the field: I have to give everything to earn it. Even my love. My love of life, my love of others. It is to be a holocaust for God. I cannot hold anything back.
Surrendering to God is something I’ve thought about a lot. It’s something I try to do. But isn’t there always something we’re holding back? Someone, or something, that we want so badly, regardless?
But would we sell it, surrender it, if we knew we would be getting something priceless in return?
After saying the stations, I went tramping around the grounds, seeing all the felled branches from the storm. I walked around the chapel, the retreat house, up a steep hill to where the bird feeders were placed (no squirrels this time, alas). I didn’t have a watch, so I didn’t know what time it was, and I didn’t want to miss the Rosary at noon. So I went back to the grotto, fetched my things, and went into the main lounge.
I saw it was only 11:30, so I began to read more of Be Holy until the rosary began, with lunch right after. At lunch quiet talk around the table was permitted, but we were still fairly quiet. Lunch was a salad with pineapple slices and oatmeal cookies. Fr. Emmanuel sat with us and told us some stories about his time in Pakistan as a missionary (he was there for 25 years!). He ate pineapple the way it was meant to be eaten, by taking big, juicy bites out of it, not trying to cut it up and eat it neatly.
After lunch we returned to the main lounge for the third conference, given by Fr. Jordan
Next part: Inspired teaching, adoration
