Journeys of a Catholic Poster Girl

I have really fallen for this wonderful man and we have been dating for 3 years and seriously looking at marriage. Here is the problem: He goes to church. I really don’t mind the Christmas and Easter visits, but he insists on going every Sunday. It is so hard to plan weekends with his over-commitment to his church. On top of that he insists on “tithing” which means 10 percent of his income to this church. This drives me crazy! That is like a car payment! I love this man so much, but I don’t know how to approach the subject of his crazed over-commitment to his faith or church. I mean, people don’t do church like they used to, right? How can I drag this man out of his cave and get him to live in the real, modern world.

Carolyn Hax: Um. In my version of the modern world, each of us is entitled to live in whatever cave we damn please. Earth currently hosts about 6 billion people. Surely you can find one to love whose choices you respect.

Wow.

The above was part of today’s advice chat on the WaPo’s website.
A few comments:

Here is the problem: He goes to church. I really don’t mind the Christmas and Easter visits, but he insists on going every Sunday. It is so hard to plan weekends with his over-commitment to his church.

Um, going to church once a week is not an “overcommitment.” In fact, it’s just about the bare minimum you can do to practice your faith.

On top of that he insists on “tithing” which means 10 percent of his income to this church. This drives me crazy! That is like a car payment!

This is the second thing most people do when they attend church regularly–they tithe. You know, Biblical injunctions and all that, plus the general feeling of obligation when the basket is passed, usually lead to tithing. If he gives 10%, bravo to him!!!! That’s superb!

don’t know how to approach the subject of his crazed over-commitment to his faith or church.

Honey, “Crazed overcommitment” would be like taking you and hiding away in some cabin in Montana, waiting for the second Coming with an ammo stockpile and Spam. This ain’t it.

mean, people don’t do church like they used to, right?

If this is her definition of “do church,” then she’d be totally appalled by the practices of some of the readers of this blog (and its author)–prayer every day! confession! Sacraments! Spiritual reading! Oh my gosh! And some people still become priests and nuns and monks, and give themselves totally to God! Wow!

How can I drag this man out of his cave and get him to live in the real, modern world.

“Out of his cave?” Um, he believes in God. He’s religious. He is, apparently, Christian. I’m not seeing any caveman behaviors here.

I loved Carolyn’s response: “Wow.” That just about sums it up.