“Hey, we’re up here!”
Everyone has crises of faith, doubts about their lives, their vocations, what God wants from them.
Yesterday was one of those days for me. I had gone to my faith sharing group and we had discussed things like submitting to the will of God, rejoicing in His plan for us, etc. And I kept thinking, “Well what if you desire something–something good, and holy–and you STILL don’t get it? What are you supposed to do then?”
I’ve wanted to be a wife and mother as long as I can remember. I think one of my professors in college had a heart attack when I told her that that’s what I wanted and I wouldn’t be going to law/grad school. It’s what most of the women in my life have done–my aunts, my friends’ mothers, etc. I want that kind of life.
But I also want to be a sister. I feel the calling, the attractiveness of that life. And of course the retreat next month will help me discern more clearly what I feel about this.
But what if I don’t get either? What if the convent doesn’t want me (or doesn’t think I fit) and I never get married? Why do I have these desires in me if they can’t be fulfilled?
So I was a little distraught about all this.
Today, I saw at least three different roses on three different occasions. Yup, I guess God is listening to me–a little. 
