Dark nights
With the release of Mother Teresa’s new book of letters and writings, a lot of people in the press seem amazed at the discovery of her “dark night,” as if they had never imagined such a thing. Personally, I feel that this is one of the more comforting parts of Catholicism, and it reassures me to know that even God’s chosen (well, OK, what we think of as chosen (saints), since we’re all chosen, technically) experience the absence of God.
Maybe it’s something with the name–both Teresa of Avila and Therese of Lisieux experience the dark night. In fact, in The Interior Castle, Teresa talks about it being one of the steps on the way to perfecting your soul. Only souls that are truly close to God, she says, can experience the dark night. If you’re not spiritually “advanced” enough, then you can’t. God knows you won’t be able to handle the “aridness,” the dryness, the feelings of abandonment, that come with the Dark Night St. John of the Cross wrote about (OK, maybe it’s a Carmelite thing. :-)). Jesus on the cross cried out, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Taken from Psalm 22) The theme of God’s silence, or abandonment, is a very common one. The fact that Mother Teresa experienced it really shouldn’t surprise us.
Teresa of Avila was right when she wrote about it. You have to have a certain spiritual maturity to face the Dark Night. Otherwise the faith will just wither and fade, like the seed that falls amidst the thorns in Jesus’ parable. It’s great when you feel that communion with God, the sense thatyou and He are one, that He is communicating with you and you feel his presence. But most of the time, it’s not there, right? We’re at Mass and we’re not feeling that joy, the Presence of God. We’re feeling irritation because the people in front of us came in late, a baby’s crying, kids are dropping the hymnals all over the place and their parents are oblivious, people are wearing tank tops and cut-offs, etc. We aren’t focused on Mass. Or we’re praying, and we’re not feeling anything come back. It’s like we’re in empty space. That’s when it’s so easy to give up and think that God doesn’t care. But we have to pray, to go on, to have faith, even when we aren’t sure God is listening or present. That’s what faith is, right? “We walk by faith, and not by sight.” “Blessed are they who have not seen, and yet believe.”
We haven’t seen. But we have to believe. It’s the only way to truly come to God.
